If you’re new to Chinese business culture, a dinner can feel less like a meal and more like a high-stakes performance. It’s where relationships are built, deals are nudged forward, and reputations are quietly assessed. The food is important—but the rules matter more.
This guide breaks down what to expect, what to do, and what not to do, so you can survive (and even enjoy) your first Chinese business dinner.
1. Understand the Purpose: It’s Not Just About Eating
In many Western cultures, business meals focus on the deal. In China, they focus on the relationship (关系 guānxì). The idea is simple: if people trust you personally, they’ll trust you professionally.
Key takeaway:
Don’t jump into contract talk during appetizers. Instead, focus on showing respect, building rapport, and reading the room.
2. Seating Order: Don’t Grab a Random Chair
Seating is strategic. The most honored guest usually sits facing the door. The host sits opposite them. Seniority, title, and guest status determine the rest of the arrangement.
What you should do:
- Wait to be directed to your seat.
- If unsure, stand back and let others arrange themselves.
- Don’t sit in the “main seat” unless invited.
Phrase to know:
- “我坐这里可以吗？” (Wǒ zuò zhèlǐ kěyǐ ma?) – “Is it okay if I sit here?”
3. Toasting Etiquette: The Real Minefield
Toasts (敬酒 jìngjiǔ) are the centerpiece of a Chinese business dinner. They’re not just symbolic—they show respect and help build trust.
Rules of the game:
- The host toasts first. Don’t jump in too early.
- When clinking glasses, keep your rim slightly lower than your senior’s to show respect.
- Ganbei (干杯 gānbēi) means “finish your glass,” but if you can’t handle too much alcohol, you can say:
- “随意随意” (Suíyì suíyì) – “At your own pace.”
Survival tip:
If you don’t drink alcohol, politely explain before the dinner starts. Order tea or juice so you can still join the ritual.
4. How to Handle Alcohol Pressure
Alcohol flows freely, and refusing to drink can sometimes be seen as impolite. However, you can navigate this without getting blackout drunk.
Strategies:
- Take small sips even during toast.
- Rotate who drinks if you’re part of a team.
- Use the phrase:
- “我以茶代酒。” (Wǒ yǐ chá dài jiǔ.) – “I’ll use tea instead of alcohol.”
5. Eating Etiquette: Small Moves, Big Impressions
- Don’t grab food first; wait for the host to invite everyone.
- Try everything at least once, even if it looks unusual.
- Don’t stick chopsticks upright in your bowl (it resembles incense at funerals).
- Leave a little food on your plate—it shows you’re full and satisfied.
Phrase to know:
- “太好吃了！” (Tài hǎochī le!) – “It’s so delicious!”
6. Conversation: Keep It Light, Read the Room
Topics to avoid: politics, controversial history, or overly personal questions about the host’s wealth.
Safe topics:
- Food and regional culture
- Travel experiences
- Compliments about the host’s hospitality
Useful phrases:
- “第一次来这里，我很喜欢。” (Dì yī cì lái zhèlǐ, wǒ hěn xǐhuān.) – “It’s my first time here, and I really like it.”
- “以后有机会欢迎你来上海玩。” (Yǐhòu yǒu jīhuì huānyíng nǐ lái shànghǎi wán.) – “You’re welcome to visit Shanghai ”
7. Ending the Dinner Gracefully
Don’t rush to leave. The host signals when it’s time to go. If you’re the guest of honor, thank them personally as you leave.
Phrase to use:
- “今天真的非常感谢。” (Jīntiān zhēn de fēicháng gǎnxiè.) – “Thank you so much for today.”
Final Takeaway: It’s About Respect, Not Perfection
Nobody expects you to be an expert in Chinese dining etiquette. What matters most is showing effort and respect. A little cultural sensitivity goes a long way—and might just earn you the trust that seals the deal later.
Want to practice real-life business scenarios in Chinese?
- Join a free 1-on-1 Business Chinese class and learn how to: Give and respond to toasts naturally
- Use the right phrases for building rapport
- Avoid cultural missteps that foreigners often make
Book your free trial today and turn your next business dinner into a success.
Quiz: What should you avoid doing during appetizers?
A. Start discussing contracts
B. Toast the host
C. Talk about food
Answer: A