Grace:
Hi everyone, and welcome back to MandarinPod4Children, where we explore how real families are navigating the journey of raising bilingual kids—without the pressure, without perfection. I’m Grace, your host and Mandarin learning coach.
Today’s episode starts with a question that will sound familiar to many parents:
“My child has been learning Mandarin for two years… so why can’t he even say ‘Mama’ properly?”
That’s exactly what today’s guest, Jordan from Manchester, UK, asked after a summer language camp made an embarrassing discovery: his 9-year-old son, Charlie—who had supposedly been taking weekly Mandarin lessons for over two years—was mistaken for an absolute beginner.
So what happened? And more importantly, what can we learn from it?
Jordan, welcome to the show.
Jordan:
Thanks, Grace. It’s a little humbling to talk about this, to be honest. We thought we were doing everything right. Charlie had a Mandarin tutor, weekly lessons. He could recognize some characters. He practiced reading pinyin. But then at the summer camp, the teacher pulled me aside and asked, “Has he ever studied Mandarin before?”I was shocked.
Grace:
That moment must’ve hit hard. And you’re definitely not alone. Many non-Chinese-speaking families follow a very structured, academic approach—starting with pinyin, memorizing strokes, maybe using textbooks. But what often gets left out? Listening. Speaking. Real understanding.Let’s rewind a bit. What made you want to start Charlie on Mandarin in the first place?
Jordan:
Honestly, we thought it would be a great long-term skill. Something different. And Charlie was open to it—he liked how it looked and sounded. We found a local tutor and started with pinyin because, well… we didn’t know any better. That’s what every class seemed to start with.
Grace:
Exactly. And that’s the first trap. A lot of programs use the same approach they use for older learners or heritage speakers—starting with pronunciation charts, tones, writing systems. But kids—especially those growing up in homes where no one speaks Mandarin—need a completely different entry point.
Jordan:
Looking back, I think that’s what went wrong. Charlie could read pinyin out loud, kind of—but he didn’t know what he was saying. He couldn’t connect it to real life. He never really spoke it outside of lessons.
Grace:
That’s such a crucial insight. We sometimes call this the “decoding without meaning” problem. Kids are taught how to pronounce—but not why. No context. No ownership.
Here’s something I want our listeners to hear clearly: learning to speak a language should not start with reading it. That’s like trying to teach a baby English by handing them a phonics workbook before they can talk.
Jordan:
So true. Charlie would come out of class and I’d ask, “What did you learn today?” and he’d say something like, “The third tone goes down then up.” But he couldn’t say a sentence. Not even “My name is Charlie.”
Grace:
Exactly. He learned about the language—not the language itself. And that creates frustration for both kids and parents. Because from the outside, it looks like progress. “He knows tones! He’s reading pinyin!” But then—he can’t speak.
It’s like building a house with no foundation.
Let’s talk about what changed after that camp. What did you do differently?
Jordan:
Well, honestly, I felt a bit defeated. But the camp teacher was kind and gave me advice: “Before reading or writing, Charlie needs to hear the language more. He needs to play with it.”
So we shifted focus. Instead of drilling pinyin, we started with simple Mandarin songs on Spotify. Kids’ cartoons. Then short stories with audio.
Even though I don’t speak Mandarin, I’d listen with him. We’d point to things in pictures and guess what they meant.
Grace:
That’s such an important step. You switched from output-first to input-first. Just like babies learn language by listening long before they speak, children need immersion—without pressure.
Jordan:
Exactly. We dropped pinyin practice entirely for two months. Instead, we did this one activity every night: I’d play a sentence from an app, and Charlie would act it out. Or I’d say, “Let’s see if you can spot this word in the next cartoon.”It became a game.
Grace:
That’s brilliant. Because here’s the thing: language needs to be tied to emotion, movement, purpose. Otherwise, it’s just data. When kids hear a word and see it and use it—even in play—it sticks.
And when they feel successful, they keep going.
Let me ask: how did Charlie respond to this new approach?
Jordan:
He was relieved. No more tone drills. No more worksheets. He actually laughed again during practice. And slowly, he started saying words—unprompted. One morning, he looked at his breakfast and said the Mandarin word for “egg.” I nearly fell off my chair.
Grace:
That’s a huge win! Because spontaneous speech means his brain is connecting sound to meaning.And listeners—here’s a key takeaway: language confidence doesn’t start with grammar—it starts with successful moments.
Let’s pause here and list a few practical tips based on Jordan’s story:
- Stop prioritizing pinyin. If your child can’t say “hello” or “thank you,” they don’t need to decode romanized text yet.
- Build listening rituals. Use daily exposure: one Mandarin story, song, or cartoon each day—just 10 minutes.
- Make it physical. Link new words to movement. Hear “run”? Then run. Hear “eat”? Pretend to eat.
- Celebrate sound before structure. Reward your child for saying a word, even if it’s imperfect. Don’t correct—mirror and model.
- Delay writing. Writing characters is an amazing skill—but it should come after your child feels comfortable speaking and hearing the language.
- Involve yourself—even if you don’t speak Mandarin. Sit with your child during listening time. Guess with them. Show curiosity.
- Use visuals to reinforce vocabulary，such as picture books, flashcards or sticker charts etc.
Jordan:
I wish we’d known this from the beginning. I thought literacy came first, like with English. But now I see—Mandarin needs a different path.
Grace:
Yes. In fact, for non-Chinese-speaking households, the natural order should be: first listen, then speak, followed by understanding, and only after that, begin reading and writing.
And here’s why: Mandarin doesn’t use an alphabet. The pronunciation system is separate from how words look. That means decoding isn’t intuitive—it has to be built on a base of listening comprehension.
Jordan:
And now, Charlie’s proud of what he knows. He’s not fluent yet, of course—but he feels fluent. That’s a big difference.
Grace:
It is. Because fluency is built on comfort. And comfort comes from early wins. So if you’re listening to this and thinking, “My child can read pinyin but can’t say a sentence,”—you’re not behind. You’re just in need of a reset.Let go of the pinyin sheets. Turn up the audio stories. And remember: you don’t need to speak Mandarin to help your child love it.
That’s our show for today. Thank you so much, Jordan, for your honesty—and for reminding us that when we shift how we teach, our kids shift how they learn.
If you want help rebalancing your child’s Mandarin journey, check out a personalized trial session at eChineseLearning.com. We’ll match your child with a teacher who speaks to them—not just at them.
Until next time, I’m Grace. Stay patient, stay playful—and remember: Language is a conversation, not a curriculum.